I say recovered because it's like a drug addiction...
Hi.
Not really sure where to start this, but I've wanted to write something about stammering for sometime. Maybe just for me, but maybe it will help someone suffering with theirs, maybe it will just be nice for someone with the same as me, understand theirs, or even just read about someone else with one.
Ok, so where to begin......
What am I even on about? I'm talking about a Stammer, Stutter, Speach impediment- what every you want to call it, it's fucking grim. Well, it can be. It can be dehibilitating. It can also be that "thing" that the love of your life falls in love with and thinks it's just too cute!
But either way, it will have been difficult for you. Not difficult like, missing an arm and trying to skip. Not being able to walk, or indeed being a mute. It isn't a disability, although it can make you feel as helpless as someone with one. That time the waiter comes over to your table and asks what you want, you pass and let your friends and family go first, then he gets back to you...... and you panic, just quickly order the one thing you can say without embarrassment. I've had so many chicken burgers in my life because of this. But that's because I've been lucky. I remember at my worst times, not being able to pronounce the word I wanted to say, and repeatinging the first part of it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over - you get the point.
I'll have the pep-pep-pep (and this repeats until you get interrupted from your loop by either one of your friends giving you the mercy interruption, or you pass out from over heating like a 1980s robot short circuiting repeating its last command on repeat getting higher and higher pitches until BOOM- it's on fire.)
This blog is just sharing some stories of my experiences, and some things I've used in my life to "get over it"*
*I say I'm over it, or recovered- but the truth is- it's never really gone. I've just learnt how to deal with it, VERY well, I might add.
I'm 26 (at time of writing in 2017), married, a father, male, employed in a professional workplace, very sociable and I own my own home. And somehow I've managed to get to this point even though I've stammered since I was at nursery. Now, I ain't braggin'. I ain't making out like people cant have these things. But I am remembering being a teenager, thinking I wouldn't be able to have a job where I spoke to people, or meet the woman of my dreams, because when I did "find he one" I'd be too nerveous, and creep her out by clicking, tweeting, twitching, pulling faces and generally not being able to look normal whilst I speak.
So a little about my stammer.
Well, at its worst (well, not quite, because I've been not able to speak from time to time) I not only struggled to get words out by repeating parts of them, over and over. But I'd go through ohases where I would infact click, really loudly. Or just make a noise- even twitch. But the worst, by a fucking warp jump- I pulled faces. Like really uncomfortable faces.
As a child I had year after year of speach therapy, group sessions, one and one- fuck my mum even tried hypnosis! Speaking of which: https://youtu.be/ejQFkSFDpn8
None of that worked. Don't get me wrong, I learnt a lot of techniques to make it easier on me. Coping mechanisms, some of which I still use to this day. For me, I actually threw myself into a door to door sales job and I learnt a lot of skills in that. But I'll go into more depth in a different post.
I'm using the word "recovered" for a very particular reason. Recovering, or recovered are both words that make people think of addiction, and whilst stammering isn't an addiction, it is difficult to stop once you start however.
So, I'm going to leave it there for now. Spread the word, excuse the pun, share, comment and just read. Know that it's not the end of the road, just speed bumps for as far as you can see. But trust me, they're not big ones, just little ones.
S-s-speak soon.
Not really sure where to start this, but I've wanted to write something about stammering for sometime. Maybe just for me, but maybe it will help someone suffering with theirs, maybe it will just be nice for someone with the same as me, understand theirs, or even just read about someone else with one.
Ok, so where to begin......
What am I even on about? I'm talking about a Stammer, Stutter, Speach impediment- what every you want to call it, it's fucking grim. Well, it can be. It can be dehibilitating. It can also be that "thing" that the love of your life falls in love with and thinks it's just too cute!
But either way, it will have been difficult for you. Not difficult like, missing an arm and trying to skip. Not being able to walk, or indeed being a mute. It isn't a disability, although it can make you feel as helpless as someone with one. That time the waiter comes over to your table and asks what you want, you pass and let your friends and family go first, then he gets back to you...... and you panic, just quickly order the one thing you can say without embarrassment. I've had so many chicken burgers in my life because of this. But that's because I've been lucky. I remember at my worst times, not being able to pronounce the word I wanted to say, and repeatinging the first part of it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over - you get the point.
I'll have the pep-pep-pep (and this repeats until you get interrupted from your loop by either one of your friends giving you the mercy interruption, or you pass out from over heating like a 1980s robot short circuiting repeating its last command on repeat getting higher and higher pitches until BOOM- it's on fire.)
This blog is just sharing some stories of my experiences, and some things I've used in my life to "get over it"*
*I say I'm over it, or recovered- but the truth is- it's never really gone. I've just learnt how to deal with it, VERY well, I might add.
I'm 26 (at time of writing in 2017), married, a father, male, employed in a professional workplace, very sociable and I own my own home. And somehow I've managed to get to this point even though I've stammered since I was at nursery. Now, I ain't braggin'. I ain't making out like people cant have these things. But I am remembering being a teenager, thinking I wouldn't be able to have a job where I spoke to people, or meet the woman of my dreams, because when I did "find he one" I'd be too nerveous, and creep her out by clicking, tweeting, twitching, pulling faces and generally not being able to look normal whilst I speak.
So a little about my stammer.
Well, at its worst (well, not quite, because I've been not able to speak from time to time) I not only struggled to get words out by repeating parts of them, over and over. But I'd go through ohases where I would infact click, really loudly. Or just make a noise- even twitch. But the worst, by a fucking warp jump- I pulled faces. Like really uncomfortable faces.
As a child I had year after year of speach therapy, group sessions, one and one- fuck my mum even tried hypnosis! Speaking of which: https://youtu.be/ejQFkSFDpn8
None of that worked. Don't get me wrong, I learnt a lot of techniques to make it easier on me. Coping mechanisms, some of which I still use to this day. For me, I actually threw myself into a door to door sales job and I learnt a lot of skills in that. But I'll go into more depth in a different post.
I'm using the word "recovered" for a very particular reason. Recovering, or recovered are both words that make people think of addiction, and whilst stammering isn't an addiction, it is difficult to stop once you start however.
So, I'm going to leave it there for now. Spread the word, excuse the pun, share, comment and just read. Know that it's not the end of the road, just speed bumps for as far as you can see. But trust me, they're not big ones, just little ones.
S-s-speak soon.
Comments
Post a Comment